hot oil splashes deep into my heart and I live on perplexed

There are a lot of things that a person could spill from the silent echoing of their mind. minds (how many do you have? I have three. HO!*). Every once in a while I feel like my brain is in a persistence of memory. Persisting and persisting, insisting I think my own thoughts, the same thoughts. I wish I had windows that I could open up to the world and let my brain fall out. I wish I could ride my bicycle all the way to the familial cabin and stick my head in the ice cold water rushing past, just dunk my head for a few seconds and hope some of the water goes in one ear and out the other channeling through all of the tunnels and nerve networks in my brain for a few seconds in between entrance and exit.
That would be refreshing.

It's one of the highlights of working at the grill (example here), sometimes I am refreshed because something forces me out of my perennial (sycophantic?) reveries. I think it's the sticking force (plus a lack of ambition?) between the grill and I. Uno giorno my boss asked me if I would ever name my first child Moses. Is there a time for a pause in conversations such as these?
-Yes. And I would name the second one Apple, like a reverse Gwyneth Paltrow.
(it was the first thing that came to mind.)
-Who's she?
(oh different worlds we habitate ourselves in)
-She's an actress.
-Don't you want to make movies?
-Yeah...documentaries.
-You see that one about that girl from TLC, the one she made about herself, which one was it?
-I think it was Left Eye.
-Did you ever listen to them?
-Yeah, I always did growing up.
-That song, Waterfall, that was a good one.
(oui, I commenced singing here)-Don't go chasin' waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to...

You've got to treasure moments like that.

You might also notice I'm a self-defeatist. I cannot hold to one opinion (which is what saves me from tattooing my body). There was a night once I went to a Vegetarian and Vegan potluck. It was a right chummy group with lots of good food and conversation, you know I could have gagged over the amount of support there was for analog over digital (give the two a break and love them both). The next day I was terribly happy to be transfixed as I ripped apart three little chickens for the chicken noodle soup at the grill (although I'm getting tired of test-tasting the chicken broth). Absolutely transfixed, but kindly I will spare you the details. For that mess, I also thank the grill.

oh gee, what an ode.

*Has anyone yet seen On Approval?