because I've learned that leaving angsty essays on the table sometimes helps.
You've caught on, I'm sure, but I'd like to bring it up again.
I love the wind.
Tonight as I left my class I walked into a world of roaring wind. I sat down on a retaining wall to enjoy a few minutes of the gusty buffetings. My hair was curly when I stepped out but I'm not so sure it's curly now. I thoroughly enjoyed the cold night air.
There have been a lot of things on my mind lately which I don't really want to talk about yet.
Do you ever feel the institutional weight of your religion? Do you ever wish your worship services were conducted outside in the world God created instead of in stuffy or even luxuriously decorated buildings?
Sometimes I wish we sang hymns at the top of our lungs, that we were really singing our hearts out instead of trying to sound nice all the time.
I hate nice.
There are dualities here. On one hand, the older I get, the more I study God and the scriptures and the more I find the doctrines expounded there to be true and everlasting. On the other hand, the older I get, the amount of troubled I can get deepens.
Not that I hate these troubles. I'd have no reason to believe in anything without my questions. The Byrds taught me to everything there is a season. Turn.
Turn.
Turn.
I'll turn as many times as it takes to find truth.
21 January 2010
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Marj, that is EXACTLY why I am getting married outside. It's strange, isn't it? How arrogant people can be to think they can actually contain God in chapels and services with pleasant looking people signing hymns in perfect pitch. I'm with you and The Byrds on this one.
ReplyDeletehuh. i hate the wind.
ReplyDelete:) I always feel like God is talking to be when I feel the wind.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate nice singing too. Why don't we just all sing out and not care what other people think? Why? Why? Why?