and let this feeble body fail*

I only recommend Leonard Cohen's Last Year's Man if you're comfortable listening to songs that express disillusionment with Christianity and other societal concerns. It made me want to cry. Like every time I read Hosea and how he is told to marry a whore I want to cry. It's so pretty to me.

(listen on Youtube)

I have a fascination with religious worship and spirituality. It's half sincere belief and half primeval/primitive/primordial...something. The two halves feed off each other. I stick with my church because it seems the best to me, but I can't get enough of other leanings either. After all, I want to know everything about how other people reach for the divine.

Someday we can talk about how I considered atheism once. Which I assume wouldn't have lasted long because this is so intrinsic to me. Or how Sunday evening I couldn't stop staring at the Jesus painted on the cross in the Catholic Cathedral. Or how someday I want to spend a whole Sunday going to various churches. And how my dad reminded me that I need to be seeking out the words of live apostles. But for now, we'll say that tonight I'm skipping out of Monty Python early to go to Sacred Harp Singing at the local Episcopal church. It's just been too many months without singing old school hymns about death and drunkards. 


*line from a Sacred Harp song