meditation

Maybe I should be at the gym instead. If I were at the gym I could read my book on the history of the various theories of ethics that have informed documentary filmmaking while I exercise. Such productivity! Why have I been so tired today? Oh look, this is me not relaxing. I should imagine a scrub brush cleaning out empty shelves in my mind. Everything all washed out, clean, clean, clean....like a puffy white pillow. Mmm pillows. This pillow is pretty comfy. I wonder where I can get knitting needles from. Should I budget them in or just borrow some? My sister says we're not doing Christmas presents this year but she has a baby so of course she doesn't care about presents and I just have good ideas sometimes... This can't be right. Is there a better way of meditating? Should I read about this on the internet some more? My bed is so great. I hope I don't fall asleep. Or maybe I should. Should I take a nap? Or should I take a sleeping pill and go to sleep early tonight? Is that why I've been tired? I'm turning into a bear, I just know it. Ah! Empty shelves! Clean brain! Peaceful. Breathe. My breath is smelly from that guacamole I just ate. I really like spicy food.