Tomorrow morning they will stick an I.V. in my arm, I will fall asleep, and they will send a camera down into my stomach to determine why the various pills we've been trying for the last year are not stopping my acid reflux, or GERD (herdy gerdy).*
My only fear: they still won't know what's going on.
This is why I was awake all Tuesday night. I left out the parts about vomit and my 1:00 a.m. trip to the grocery store for the hope of OTC acid relief. Yesterday I started a new diet of saltine crackers and water. Today I'm getting crazy with graham crackers and rice. No soy sauce. Maybe I bought some chocolate soy milk because I'm going C.R.A.Z.Y. from blandness and I should be off the dairy for the time being. I should also be off the chocolate but vanilla soy milk is still kind of bland. (And now that I'm thinking about it, if there were strawberry soy milk it would be rather puke-worthy.) The Surgical Solutions Nurse told me I have to fast from midnight on, I don't even get water. I thought, big deal, I'm not even sure my stomach likes water anymore.
I don't like when I can't solve things; can't find their cause and effect. Body, if I knew, if you'd just tell me, I'd change everything, you'd be the luckiest body and stomach in the world.
Just use your words, dangit.
They made me fill out this medical privacy form, listing people who I'd allow to call in to ask questions and check on things blah blah blah. I thought, there should be more lines so I could list more people (there were three lines). Case in point....Whatever, I just thought you should all know why I've been cancelling on you/not making any plans lately.
And you don't get to make any comments because if you baby me I'll punch you in the face. I'm letting my sister take care of me, it's a good thing to learn: to ask for help and let someone take care of you. But I am not in favor of your condolences. I should get a shirt: "No condolences." I mean, I like you, and I like that you care for me, but just have a real conversation. My acid boiled stomach is not the end of the world. At least, not until May 21st.
à bientôt.
*That's it! From now on you can refer to my herdy gerdy.......
