swim for all salvation*

AHEM: I'm-going-to-officially-no-holds-barred-take-the-plunge-into-following-my-intuition-passion-and-dreams-and-become-a-starving-artist.

Oh, how is that any different than what I'm already doing?

I'm going to consciously embrace it and not shy away anymore. No more shooting myself in the foot, this will be more like shooting myself in the head. No. No, bad attitude. That's what can't happen anymore. I've already told you (probably) that I'm going to move home and make a series of short documentaries about North Dakota. I've had this on my mind for months so I figured I should tentatively plan for this and hesitantly tell people, and look in the mirror and ask myself why the H I'm not a dynamic, wildly-employed, talented person, who do I think I am?

If anything ever falls under the category of a stupid question, those might be some of them. And if the questions aren't, whatever answers you come up with will make you feel stupid.

I can do this. (yes?) I'm jumping in, praying the sound equipment I don't need anymore will sell on Amazon, people will buy my postcards on Etsy (more on that later), and maybe this other web project I'm working on will get underway and I'll be able to face all the inner dragons I'll find on my sojourn on the Great Plains and I'll come out with a web site and documentary work that I can be pleased with and some festival audiences that like it too.

And maybe even some distribution please?

I long to dive back into that isolated prairie but I'm afraid of drowning.

Oh, world, please, just love me. Is that too much to ask?


*line from song I like giants by Kimya Dawson.