through the amazon

There's always this period of mono recovery where I have trouble sleeping which is counterproductive and happening currently. But really what I have to say is that sometimes I think that mono is one of the better things to have happened to me.

Erratic sleep patterns have a history with me. As a wee child I refused to take any naps but I was kind enough to let my mother nap. Except that I distinctly remember once opening her eyes for her. And then once I began reading chapter books I would stay up almost every night until 1:00am or later reading and listening to my radio. And then came high school and mild insomnia. My mom and I would sit at the kitchen table reading and drinking loads of chamomile tea trying to relax. I now hate chamomile tea.

It's the the stressing over not sleeping that's the problem but which seems to be the natural reaction as you age.

But then I got mono my freshman year of college and I learned what it felt like to want nothing more than to curl up and sleep in the aisle of Joanne's fabric store. Nay, not want, NEED.

No...it wasn't just that....

Would it make sense if I told you that mono taught me to treasure anything to do with sleep even to treasure not being able to sleep?

Sometimes I can be accused of being too critical of myself but one area in which I am not is whether I can fall asleep or not. Being sleepy and falling asleep is a dear, dear, amazing, sweet, perfect treasure. But oh! When I can't sleep! Then I treat myself to watching whatever I want, listening to whatever I want, making bread and eating five pieces––still warm from the oven––slathered in butter and homemade jam. I am not going to do justice for how much I pamper myself when it comes to sleep or not to sleep but maybe if I tell you that tonight, about ten minutes ago I became convinced that if I could listen to the Pet Shop Boys I would be able to quiet my mind and fall asleep contented and so nine minutes ago I bought and downloaded a two-disk set of their hits.

And then an album of Frank Ifield's to delight in tomorrow at work. Honestly, that man's yodeling! 

And then the screenplay for Carl Theodor Dryer's Jesus that I've been eyeing for months. 

Anything else I can get for myself tonight? Hmmm....