how do you say spread sheet in french?

You can uncook that goose because the Onion Cutter reminded us of why we love him today. I wish I didn't feel morally wrong about uploading the pictures of him on to The Internet.
I was doing my usual cooking cooking in the back of the kitchen when my Boss says, "Oh my-You've gotta come see this!"

The Onion Cutter was walking into work wearing a floppy wig that somehow perfectly matched his hair color. He sauntered about the place delighting us all with his antics, "Hey baby, how about a date?!" "Ok darling!."