18 September 2008

seasons of transfixture

YOU

had me at hello.
And then I was looking around today and I saw the boy who was the first...oh no, the second to ask for my phone number but I was so naive I believed in platonicy, I mean we were all there as a chummy little group and I thought, great wonderful I'm in a new place lets all have each others' phone numbers, and I asked for his friend's number.
He's married now.
And she, over there, is a widow.
And we're all 21?

What markers do we rate ourselves by? The generalizations of age and grade and promotion. Class descriptions and money makers lenders borrowers takers.
Well, I'm 21, sometimes aimless, frequently on the quiet side, happy to curl up in my hovel and imagine everyone's stories. My friend from high school who is a month younger than I am is married with a child who is almost two. I explained sex to her when we were 15. My junior prom date is married and has two kids, one named Bubba. That transfixes me.
The Onion Cutter I used to work with, I think is 24. He would write love notes on paper towel to the Danish girl. And he dreamed of being a chef.
T is 22 and she dies her hair black and feels like 21 is so very young.
The Dreamer is 30 and he's my best friend. Sad, I think I've neglected him since I left the grille. Must rectify that.
Ma soeur âgée told me she sometimes thinks I'm more mature than her. I think she likes to make jokes, sometimes.
Some day I'll be 50 and I'll still feel like me. Not like one of those people who are 50. But like I'm me and 50 and all of my peers (all 50 of them) are just 50 like me. So to speak, when I came to university and they put me in a world full of my peers I realized it will be like this for the rest of my life. There will never again be that mystery of having mature people to run the world. Tomorrow they will expect me to run the world. It's utter mayhem out there. None of us are qualified and we're only skin filled with organs, blood, opinions, heart, inspiration and sometimes lice.
I have no lice.
Thank heavens.
But somewhere a 21 year old has lice.
If you think this post is confusing, heads up because I get to vote this year.
Il mondo è bello perchè è vario. Vive la difference!

1 comment:

  1. I'm 24 and I've dated Jesse, Dan, Jordan, Steve, Brandon, Collin, and Jonathan who all married the next girl after they dated me. Does that mean there is something wrong with me? Or I'm a good prep-girl?

    I feel like I'm missing someone...

    ReplyDelete