the looming documentary crisis

I am huddled, ensconsed in the cave, being stared down by three computer monitors. They're staring down into my soul asking me if I really have any idea what I'm making a documentary about.

"I do!!....." but my last exclamation point falters off.

"Then what is it about, Mz. Bjork?"

"Well, uhh--"

"Is it about the kindergarten teacher like you said it was going to be? Because she speaks in run-on sentences that rarely have clearly defined subjects and direct objects. She is lacking in the necessary sound-bite-ableness."

I will show them! They will stop leering at me! "But then we organize it into something coherent and we visually represent her thoughts that aren't clearly communicated. Plus, her run-on sentences will serve to illustrate her character, a dynamic character that will engage our audience."

"Mm-hmm," they are not convinced, "Good luck creating that portrait of a dynamic character. We think you're going to have to write up a script and bring her into a sound booth for some ADR. Or, ha ha, you'll hire a narrator!!!! That's right! The Voice of God Narrator!! There go your dreams of an 'organic' documentary! Ha ha! You'll have a Flaherty train wreck on your hands then!"

I'm deflating, "Noooooo......I still have hope......We'll address that when that happens...."

"And if you care about illustrating her character why is she always talking about that literacy program?

"Well....ok, it is really about the literacy program. You've got me there."
Oh the glee that shines in their technological gadgetry, "You're making a promotional piece?!!!" The peels of laughter are now reverberating around this cave.

"No! No! No! No!!! NOOOOOOoooooooooo!!! Never! It won't be like that, I swear! It will all turn out and then you'll see and it will not be promotional it will--the truth will prevail!"

"Certainly. And when it does you'll have spent a pretty bundle of money that belongs to people who have a great influence on your education and carreer on that Voice of God and that nifty animation your mentor is pushing for."

"I could pull this power chord right now! Then we'll see who's laughing!"

"You pull the power chord and you lose nine months of work, little girl."

I sigh. I sigh and watch a few more hours of kindergarten classroom footage.