Obamaweather isn't being very reassuring. It says Groundhog got into a fight with his lover and is now moping in its overly cozy burrow listening to Grouper.
Listen, Groundhog, it doesn't get better that way. Instead, why don't you take this handful of pennies for the boatsman on the river Styx. I want you to retrieve Persephone. Hades is having a bad year and in his taciturn mood he cursed us with the Orpheus Proviso. We weren't allowed to look at sweet Persephone's face as we climbed the backbreaking steps through all the rings of hell to heaven and the surface. But who could resist taking deep, heady breaths of spring? The sun was too strong to not stare directly into its rays.
So she fell.
And now we remain here
beleaguered.
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