JOURNAL: AGE, WEAR, AND BLITHER

Sometimes I'm reminded that I need to write more. I've never seen myself as a writer, never felt the call to be an author. Rather, I have to write. I would not be a happy, well-adjusted, fairly confident individual without writing. I wouldn't be a lot of things so it's easier to say what I would be: miserable.

I've been biking for my work commute as we've been blessed of late with this fresh, spring weather. This is a ten mile round trip with plenty of up and downhills. Add to that my vague training for a 10K (running) race at the end of May...My body has been telling me it's aging this past year. I feel damaged much more quickly if I don't stretch it and rest it like it wants. It's a whole new phase of life with sciatic nerves and ligaments and strangely specific muscle aches. Where raising my arm while dancing to Sam Cooke on soul night can pull a muscle and take a couple of months to heal. Bodies are weird and precarious and really special.

Another part of aging probably speaks to why I blog so little as of late. What you may not realize is that most of my posts for the past year were scheduled long ago, these photographs that appear periodically were set up to appear on the anniversaries of their creation as precious mementos for myself. I blog so little because I no longer heavily feel the weight of existential dilemmas that I did eight years ago. I'm sure I'll face another wave of those as I near middle age. For now, I have no children so I can relax in my knowledge that I know nothing.

Guys, I can comprehend now that I'll near middle age. Before you know it I'll be 30 and then it's just a fleetly, flittly, flying leap to 40. I can see 40 approaching. I've always seen years stretching out before me like a strange day (but year) planner, white boxes enclosed in structured black lines. Which is funny because no one actually experiences time this way, but I've always had this image and it continues on, now with 38, 39, and 40 in view.

Well, anyway, this is total blither meant to just get me to write for a few minutes. And I'll post because this is the internet which is comprised largely by blither and who doesn't want to fit in? Let's all be lemmings.