the totem broke

P.S. There was originally the thought of giving you more of an explanation on why I lead you into these disillusioned ideas I have about dreams but such explanations seemed paltry. Enjoy this bit of melodrama with my regards (I say that self-effacingly and it spoils the mood).

 love,

Marge

Tonight as you lay you down to sleep you have two choices. The choice to not dream was already taken away from you, some horrible part of your subconscious took that way from you a long time ago. Probably at birth. You wish you could just become entirely immersed in oblivion everytime you sleep. You wish that desperately.

No, your choices are between a good dream or a bad dream.

The kind of bad where you seem to be pulled along a course you would rather not choose but every choice you make brings you back to this same slippery course. You can't stop being evil. Guilt fills up you with your fate bound hands. You can't hold on to anything or anyone. You tried that trick where you have a good thing mentally tucked away that will surface in a nightmare and save you from the downward, trapped journey. Your good thing surfaced and was taken away by whatever it is that holds dominion in your subconscious.
 So just get this clear, it's all going to go wrong and not everyone will wake-up. Not in your head.

Or the kind of good that's full of all the things you don't dare to wish for. Every star has aligned and God smiled down and placed a crown of delicate flowers gently, lovingly on your head. Everything that needs to be said is being said by all the right people. And they won't go away anymore. No one's leaving here, they're all coming back. And then you wake up and the depression hits.

Tell me if you have to choose which one will it be?

And tell me if you're treasuring something right now almost like a good dream what do you do when you wake up?