08 May 2011

every ke$ha song is a cry for help and so seems every blog post

For someone who has been spilling her guts on this internet here for nigh on four years, I am strangely and largely hesitant to stand at a pulpit and share my religious philosophies. The LDS Church is predominantly (like 99.99%) run by lay ministry and our sacrament meetings are filled with talks given by members of the congregation. Which is really wonderful in lots of ways except when it's me and it's no longer about getting so nervous I want to puke, or a fear of public speaking (I'll talk the world's ears off about film, no problem). No, it is my spirit that is deeply personal–an intimate part of myself and I rarely feel to be brazen about it. I struggle with the feeling that public affirmations of my testimony are insincere.

So today I'm standing at a pulpit in front of a bunch of people I barely know (because I do truly hate LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE) because for various reasons friends and family won't be there. Just Grace, who will stand as the lone representative of my entourage. Well, Grace is pretty great so...I just hope I can be sincere.

Maybe I sing a little The Byrds Turn, Turn, Turn to myself and feel a little the better.

 Update: I love Alicia. She's so great, made my day. And I love you kids that texted me.

3 comments:

  1. Same same same.
    I hope it went well!

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  2. I wish I could have been there; I love listening to you, I love being in your fan club, and I think you're swell.

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  3. it was one legit talk- also can I be the president of your entourage? I would be really good at it

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