16 May 2011

i just watched the last episode of Buffy

Again, one more time and louder: I JUST WATCHED THE LAST EPISODE OF BUFFY!!!

All seven seasons, all watched. 

And I've loved it. 

Perhaps to a ridiculous extent because this winter there's been periods of me heavily consuming Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. What can I say, there's just really nothing like a show about a teenage girl who can beat evil creeps to a pulp.

Particularly when you're stuck with doubts you've never had before.

I've always been dreaming of my career, I never realized that some other girls really grew up thinking only of how they want to be moms–not to hate on that, I respect a lot of women who have had that as their guiding desire. I don't want to not be a mom, I just figured that's something that happens in its time after I fall in love. You live your life and it just happens. I've never been able to grasp how a career can't be impossible with a healthy, homey family life. Shouldn't my family be lucky that I can involve them in my passions and projects? I'm entirely certain I've been making the right decisions, so why have I never been like some other devout Mormon girls with eyes set on the stay-at-home-motherhood prize?

How did this weasel its way into being my self doubt this winter? I'm graduated and I'm not surprised or worried–I'm not even sad that I'm not married? And I'm looking forward to my career? Isn't that supposed to be a dirty six-letter word?

I never thought I would ask myself these questions, they were silly.

And this is how the violence of Buffy became even more inspiring to me and I began my career of stabbing vampires and striking fear into the heart of every demon of every dimension of hell. And they all lived happily ever after.

3 comments:

  1. You are 100% right. Your family, both now and later, will be extremely lucky to have you include them in your passion and projects. I think the word career is a magic word. It means you have talent, drive, creativity and you aren't afraid to use them. So go and stab some vampires and, while you are at it, make some films so we can see too.

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  2. hahaha. Loved the last line of this post. Be careful about thinking that "so many other devout Mormon girls" are one way and if you're not that way you are doomed. That's crazy talk! I certainly am not one of them (although I do want a big family and to be a mother some day) but I have other aspirations as well. That's a good thing.

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  3. I wish I could have watched all 7 seasons with you. I'm midway through season 4, so I will keep you posted on my progress :) I think that the important part of life is finding out what God wants us to do, and then doing it wholeheartedly. For some, that is a career. Also, creativity is a Christlike attribute, and you have chosen a career that revels in that attribute. So, my personal opinion is that the Lord is very pleased with your direction towards a career!

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