09 October 2011

prone to wander, Lord, I feel it

A sixty mile drive to church by yourself will give you plenty of time to ponder and I had a lot of thinking to do about Boondock Saints this morning. Of course I'm enthralled by modern day (ridiculously violent and tattooed) Catholic saints– Mormons are all about modern day, hence the full name of the church: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (totally different kind of saints, you know, a little less bloody); and hence Mormons everywhere flocked to TV's, radios, and internets last weekend for General Conference to hear modern day prophets. Religious zeal of any age is captivating to me but particularly N.O.W. So I'm into prophets, obviously; and have recently become more interested in the motivation behind Muslim extremism–this is what happens when you listen to a lot of Democracy Now! podcasts as you hand out parking tickets for a living; and then there's those Boondock Saints (not related to Val Kilmer's The Saint).


The other thing that I have a lot of time to ponder is the dash of the Honda Civic Hybrid I get to drive. It tells you lots of things that other cars might not which is what led me to drive 65 mph home today. That wind really kills your miles per gallon I tell ya what. Note: speed limit is 75 and there are a few people driving slower than me. At 65 I really began to appreciate the subtle differences of rust, orange, green, the dried corn and bleached wheat of the fields. A gentle little slope here and there, the texture of the different grasses, the heavy mist. Geese flying around. These are things I see but don't absorb as well at faster speeds. I enjoyed myself but still felt like I was moving backwards compared to everyone else. At this point in my mullings I realized, THIS IS A METAPHORE FOR MY LIFE. I love this time I get to meditate, spend time with my parents, consider religious covenants, sort through my life–but I feel as though I'm taking a heck of a time getting to where I'm going. I've got nothing to show for myself and everyone else seems to be skipping right along...Have you felt that dichotomy? "I'm doing what I need and I love it" going hand in hand with "am I a bumbling bum?"


I guess they have to go together. Else what would motivate the introspection–the soul deepening searching?






Faite attention: symbolism + mobile = symobilism. Great new word, right?   

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